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Orientation

I observe random as well as specific people new to the Lunacy about, so I might as well make with an orientation to the Journal of the Lunatic.

First, I post a lot. The current subtitle is "nearly a prosthetic memory", borrowed shamelessly from lmbujold's Simon Illyan (said on the occasion of his getting a shiny new piece of technology), because that's what I use the journal for, more or less. I put the things in here that I'm going to want to remember later on; I have a habit of re-reading the journals of years past for just this reason.

Since there are a lot of things that I think I'm going to want to remember, or don't know if I'm going to want full detail or not, so I might as well give as much as possible, that means there's a lot of crap in here. The calendar shows a bazillion posts per day, though looking often gives only half that many. That's because I've got a lot of random private crap like things I wrote elsewhere, IM logs, e-mail archives -- so I can look back and see my day at a glance and use that to figure stuff out.

Contents of the journal are anywhere from a slightly more grown-up version of "This is what I did today, Mama!" (well, it's Dad who reads this, and not Mama) to random rambling introspection, wacky stories from my past (especially the ones starring That Idiot Shawn), link soup, random weird things that you had to have been there for, and gods know what else. Of special note are the bits mentioning Darkside. Since I'm madly in love with the fellow (stress the "madly" part) and he has yet to acknowledge any romantic feelings he has for me, every interaction needs careful documentation and then a series of babblings that are either wildly squee-ful or horribly angsty or (horror of horrors) alternating, or both at the same time. (It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't saying he wasn't interested with his mouth and then giving off "I'm interested" signals on a number of other levels, but he is. That means I get to deal with it.) Angst is often given the snippy.

I have gotten used to the weird thing where people wander in, add me, and read me, and I don't know them. This is puzzling to me on many levels, but flattering, because I do the same thing to other people, and the idea that people like my writing is both cool and humbling. I'm OK with this, though I have encountered a few Genuinely Creepy individuals in this way. (Alice, you know more things with more metaphorical Bad Tentacles than I'm willing to deal with sometimes....) Since the friends-page is getting more than somewhat scary, my selection criteria for adding new members to the Friends List of Doom have gotten more picky. I tend to add based on an insane cocktail of Interesting/Compatible with Actual Friend Potential, Previous Connection, Writing Quality and Knowing Through Other People/In Other Media, and I drop based on a formula equally scary. The drop formula includes (lack of) Actual Real Connection, noise-to-signal ratio, Unfortunate Connections, (lack of) Quality Interaction, and many other things. Most of the content in this journal is public; only the dreadfully personal stuff tends to get locked or filtered.

As is the custom on LJ, I use nicknames for people in my life. If they don't have an LJ, or at least not one that I know of (some of my co-workers might have them, but I don't know about them, and might not link myself to them in the case that I speak of them or someone they know when I'm doing a random work-bitch post) I will make up a nickname for them. For example, a classmate of Darkside's, a cheerful tall woman in her early 40s who now works for the Mouse, has become Dawn -- her actual name involves the letters "AM", which suggested morning, so therefore, she was Dawn. My best friend in the entire universe, a gaming, anime-loving antisocial computer geek, took the moniker "Darkside" for a covert identity during a staged flamewar on a message board once. The name was from Darkside Blues, though it could have just as easily come from the Darth Vader shirt that he wore constantly. The name Darkside stuck; previously he'd been "my best friend the gentleman".

Common people showing up in the journal, and their roles in my life:

Darkside: best friend, main love interest (bizarre love triangle situation). Note that my best friend Darkside is not darkside. Darkside does not have an LJ as far as I know, and I'd likely have heard about it sometime within the 4.5 years we've known each other.

figment0: good friend from work. LDS, recently widowed, gamer, interesting person with a wacky take on life. Ought to have been born a twin to me.

iroshi and amberfox: respectively, my priestess-confessor and her left-hand-man. amberfox is often showing up in answer to "Who are you talking to on the phone right now?" Priestess-confessor, in this context, also includes "counselor", and the reason why this is crucial should become apparent in just a minute....

trystan_laryssa and dustraven: friends, co-workers, gaming buddies of figment0's.

Marah, Naomi, and garnetdagger: I'm the primary personality in this head. There are three others. We cooperate. Mostly. The less distinct the fragmentation is, the more likely everything is going smoothly, unless it's shoved under the rug for company.... The real problem with this picture is that depression, poor self-esteem, and a few other tasty difficulties stop up the lines of communication. There aren't any problems when it's four working as a household with a strong leader. It's all kinds of fucked-up when it turns into an Angsty Roommate Situation, up to, including, and occasionally surpassing issues like "We don't get to boink this guy, because we're waiting for True Love!" clashing head-first into "We're all grown-ups here, so I can screw who I want, and he looks tasty!" (It's like dormcest, except all in one head.)

Pink Shirt Guy, Stressy College Chick, Cute Geek Super, Rev. Nice Super, Comic Pirate Super: co-workers. I have a lot of co-workers. Many of them have developed nicknames based on assorted notable attributes. I have good rapport with the supervisory staff, and get along with most of the phone goons. The Master of Misinformation, Problem Child, King of Birdbrains, and Mr. Bitter were some of the phone goons I did not get along with. All of those phone goons have since departed.

Of special note are the assorted relatives and pseudo-relatives. Biologically, I have two parents, one living grandparent, a handful of aunts, uncles, and cousins, and one sister. I also have a sister of the heart (Sis) and her son who is as a nephew to me (the Little Fayoumis), a brother of the heart (ralmathon), a Good Twin (figment0), and probably more. My biological sister Tay-Tay is not referred to as Sis, that would be my heart-sister and former roommate. Anyone who's a brother was not born of the same parents. Almost all of the aunts referenced have a biological or marital connection; Uncle Skippy is uncle-by-courtesy rather than blood.

There are other listings of who's who, but I need to update them, and I don't think they're organized very well.


If there are any random boggling things going on, like exactly where the LJ name came from, or what derangements I have, or commentary on stuff I missed, just drop a comment...
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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