Me: "This shirt looks good to wear today." Shirt: *looks sensible, remotely fashionable, and black* Me: "Wait a minute. I know your type." Me: *shakes shirt* Shirt: *disgorges stocking* Stocking: *sticks to wall* Me: "Umm..." Shirt: "WTF." My sensible Bachelor Housewife Side: "You have dryer sheets for a reason , Loonie." The Wall: *spits sock to floor* Stocking: *lies there with deceptive calm* Me: "No, I don't think so." *gets dressed*