Right now my face is more naked than the day I was born (except for the glasses) because when I was born I had gunk all over me and now I don't.
2. How much do you put on?
On a regular basis? Maybe lipgloss. If I'm bothering to wear some, probably lipstick, lip gloss, and maybe powder. Really pushing it is eyeshadow. Glitter is a fact of life, not makeup.
3. How long does it take you to get ready?
On normal days, 27 minutes to 36 minutes. This includes breakfast and ADHD-style distraction. Makeup is not a big issue. Really. Neither is picking out the clothes, though dealing with the laundry ranks up there.
4. Do you put on a lot of lipgloss?
Well, I keep some by the computer, and in my purse, and by my bed, if that's what you mean.
5. Does your lipgloss smell good?
The more relevant question is really "does it keep my lips from drying, cracking, and bleeding". Really. It's mostly chapstick and cheap little-girl lip gloss, because that has glitter.
6. Do you carry a purse?
Yes. It has all manner of strange things inside. And a lot of bubblegum, currently.
7. What color is it?
Basic black. Also very cheap, sturdy, and serviceable. It has not needed replacing by reason of disintegration or Getting Really Nasty for at least a year. I am impressed.
8. Do you have coach bag?
Hoosawhassit? But I have a lot of random tote bags.
9. Do you have a Louis Vuttion?
I officially fail this quiz for not knowing who that is. Not really caring, either.
10. How many purses do you have?
If you're brave enough to root through my bottom dresser drawer, you can count them. Not many, though.
11. Do you like to wear nailpolish?
The actual question is more like "Do you like to sit still for an hour while your fingers dry off" and "do you like to do this on a daily basis because you bash the polish off otherwise". I don't really like those things, but I like nail polish just fine. Except for the whole carcinogen thing.
12. How often do you get your nails done?
About as often as I go to a tanning salon.
Why, yes, this milk-white complexion is almost natural, except for the sunscreen.
13. Do you like manicures?
Mama always insisted that I try some of whatever she was making, in case I liked it. I have yet to try a manicure. I would probably like it better than green peppers, but I disagree with the idea of paying for that on a regular basis...
14. What about pedicures?
See above. Though I admire the bravery of anyone tackling my feet after work.
15. Do you have a usual nail salon you go to?
Do you have a usual high-end electronics store you go to?
16. Where do you get your hair cut?
Wherever I think won't be disturbed by a little hair to sweep up off the floor. It's usually the bathroom. Since I've lately just been trimming the ends to get rid of splits (I'm growing my hair out) I don't feel the need to have a Trained Professional do anything to it.
17. Do you dye your hair?
I've given up on the sorts that do nasty things to the hair, but I will occasionally do a temporary dark blue. It's stealth blue, so I can get away with it at work. Work has wimpy lighting, and stealth blue only shows up in very strong lighting.
18. Do you straighten your hair?
At least it's a better fad than crimping. It, too, shall pass. Meanwhile, I'll be having none of it, just like crimping.
19. Do you have lots of pairs of shoes?
I probably have a few more than I strictly need. I never wear the navy suede ones these days.
20. What are your favorite shoes?
They seem not to exist anymore. They were fisherman sandals, elastic, black, in faux leather or faux suede, and looked like a dress shoe and wore like a sneaker. They could dress up or dress down. I wore through about two pairs a year. Then Payless stopped selling them.
21. Do you wear heels everywhere?
I also wear toes. I do not even own a pair of high heeled shoes. Currently. I might get one at some point.
22. Can you walk in heels and not fall over?
I used to be able to run in heels on a dirt path with major roots on it. Granted, they strapped on securely, and I was 12. But still. If I can't walk, run, skip, and fence in them, they're a bad shoe.
23. Where do you buy your clothes?
You want an inventory of the whole damn closet or what? I get most of the standard stuff at that den of evil, Wal*Mart. I cruise through Ross every now and then, and often enough wind up with something very nice. (The black slinky glittery skirt that I'm wearing now is from there, and so's the cozy plain velvet one.) I get this and that from Lane Bryant and Torrid. I hit a thrift store or two from time to time. Recently I made a skirt; I may make more forays into the realm of personal tailoring.
24. Do you go shopping every week?
Yes ...but the queens we use will not excite you. I go grocery and electronics shopping more often than clothes and makeup shopping. So go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlors...
25. What's your favorite store?
Fry's Electronics.
26. How much do you usually spend?
Depends on if I'm there to Get Something or not. An actual electronics purchase run is around $200. These are rare. If I'm just going there, I try to get out of there under $20-30.
27. Have you ever been in Dior?
Since I don't know what, or where, that is, probably not. Though if it's somewhere I could just wander in and not know where I was, I might have wandered in and out without noticing.
28. Do you follow fashion trends?
Are they going anywhere interesting? If so, I'll stock up on whatever it is that I like about them. I am perfectly happy wearing the same damn thing every day. This is why almost all my wardrobe is black. I will buy 5 of the same shirt if I really like it and it looks good.
29. Do you have a pair of huge sunglasses?
Yes! They used to be Grandma's. They're the sort that actually fit over prescription glasses. They're ghastly. I prefer the spring-loaded clamp-on ones that fit more tightly over my actual glasses.
30. How many pairs of earrings do you have?
They're in some boxes. My ears got very sensitive to a lot of stuff after 1996. I probably have over 10 pairs, some more random singles, but only 1 or 2 pairs I can wear for more than 15 minutes.
31. Do you wear hoop earrings?
Are they hypoallergenic? Will they make my ears turn pink and swell up and itch like the fury? Can I even get them in my ears? ...I think I have some cute little rainbow titanium hoops somewhere. Somewhere. I'm not sure if they make my ears itch or not, though.
32. Do you have a lot of skirts?
Ah, a worthwhile question. I don't think I have enough skirts. It's amazing how hard it is to find a good skirt in my size that's also black, calf to ankle length, sturdy, attractive, and in my price range. As it is, I have enough skirts so I only have to wear pants if it's a Laundry Emergency or the circumstances call for it.
33. Do you get your eyebrows done?
If anyone comes near my eyebrows with a razor, I might feel tempted to return the favor on their scalp hair. Unevenly. I will pluck the edges if I'm feeling particularly vain, or for a special occasion, but it's to tidy up the natural shape rather than to make it something fashionably ghastly.
34. Can you apply mascara without opening your mouth?
Do I own any mascara? (eep. I do. I need to throw it out, because it's old.)
35. Do you wear a lot of eyeliner?
How does "none" work for you? It works for me most of the time.
36. Do you do Pilates or yoga?
Pouring saline up the nose is actually a form of yoga! So I do!
37. Do you have a lot of magazines?
There used to be this stack of IEEE magazines that I was working my way through. I wonder what happened to them. I either must have finished them or they must have disappeared in the move. The Figment did leave his wife's stack of Cosmo with me. I should get around to mocking them at some point, and then I should really figure out how to make those paper stars.
Conclusion:
I am not a girlie-girl by the standards of this survey. At all. In fact, I might as well be a boy except for the skirts, makeup, and ability to move in high heels thing. And it didn't mention perfume!
