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[Edited to add: The Alliance of Readers' Keyboards, Monitors, Housemates & Pets have advised that food and/or beverages be put to the side before reading.

Перевод на русский mcmartyn ]


Malicious Security Crackers: "We used to take an account and try out about 40,000 passwords on it in about 5 seconds to see if it would unlock. LJ doesn't let us do that anymore. Damn that LJ! We'll show them! Here, have a malicious script!"
Malicious script: *takes 5 most commonly used passwords, tries them on 40,000 different accounts*
4000 LJ accounts: *unlock*
Malicious Security Crackers: "Score!"
LJ Geeks: "O RLY."
LJ: *stops allowing even remotely easy passwords*
4000 LJ users: "Hey! That was a perfectly good password! Why'd you make me change it?"
LJ Support: *facepalm*

LJ Geeks: *write more code*
LJ Admin: "Release the code!" *pokes server*
LJ Server: *falls over* "Error 500! Ow!" *can't get up*
LJ Admin: *blush*
LJ Addicts: "OMG ERROR 500!!"
LJ Support: "We know."

Bantown Crackers: "Hey, cool security flaws in Javascript, IE, and Firefox!"
Security Flaws: "How are you gentlemen?!"
LJ: "What happen?"
Bantown Crackers: "All your base are belong to us."
LJ Admin: "Subdomains for everybody! Fuck off, craxx0rbitches."
Free Users: "Yaaaay!"
Paid Users: "...no fair. Like we ever use voice post."
Permanent Users: "STFU, n00bs."
LJ Admin: "What they said. Suck it. Security reasons. Plenty of other sites out there."
Early Adopters: "Where's the LOVE?"
brad: "STFU, n00bs."
[info]_____xo_so_em0_x_xx_____: "MY UNDERSCORES! WTF!"
LJ Support: "You got a rename token, so suck it."
[info]so__________gratuitous_x_x_x: "WTF? They got a free rename token and I didn't?"
LJ Support: "It's called restrictions on what subdomains can be named. Your username still works. Deal."
[info]so__________gratuitous_x_x_x: "OMG THE HYPHENS!"
note_to_cat maintainer volunteering in Support: "Suck it."

Bantown Crackers: "We still got cookies, yo."
LJ Admins: "Oh no you don't."
All login cookies: *expire*
Bantown Crackers: "Well, fuck. Eh, more suckers to hack out there."
All previously logged-in users: "WTF? We're logged out!"
LJ Support: "Big frickin' deal. Log in again. Duh."

The half of LJ that wasn't paying attention: "...Dude. What did they do with the passwords and URLs and shit? How come I got logged out? Somebody? Anybody? Bueller?"
LJ Support: "OMG HEADACHE."
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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