Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

Best friends forever.

Five years ago today, I laughed like a Lunatic because my heart was breaking. I had fallen in love with my best friend. So had my soulsister. All I wanted was for them to be happy, except I wanted him as well. And he'd chosen her.

But five years after that day, I'm still alive, and much less broken. He and I are still great friends. She and I are no longer quite so close, but are still friends. The two of them don't communicate with each other. Not anymore. They dated for two months and eight days, and then she quietly and firmly told him it wasn't going to work out.

He collapsed in on himself after that, and forcibly didn't betray his reaction to anyone. I could feel it all the same. His pain hit me like a punch in the stomach every time he saw her unexpectedly. She had to have been able to feel it too, and she avoided him because of it, and because she didn't want to see that look in his eyes. She'd had to leave school over financial and childcare issues before he stopped hurting. Then they never really started talking again.

I miss it being us three, best friends. I'm sure he misses it too. There's no way to get it back. There's no way I'll just walk away from the friendship now. Not after seeing what her walking away from the friendship after saying goodbye to the relationship did to him.

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