Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

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Further thought about attention problems

It may well be that I have attention problems, brought about by the idea that I have not too little attention, but too much of it.

I am told that most people try to pay attention to only a few things at once. I attempt to pay attention to everything at once. When there is only a little of everything, I am just fine. When there is too much of everything, I have difficulty narrowing my focus to exclude the unimportant factors.

Rather, I have a difficulty deciding which the unimportant factors are, because it's so relatively rare that I have to narrow down.

On the other hand, when I tune my capacity to focus on one thing and one thing alone, I am like laser in the intensity.

Have long used the "I am like laser; do not date me alone" argument in favor of my polyamory. If I have multiple people to date, I am not half so dangerous when focused.

Is there a word, in any language, that means "that pain that comes as a result of someone mistaking you and your unrequited beloved for an actual couple, and/or treating you as such"? I hurt like that a lot around Shawn, back in the day. It was touchy to try and correct people who were mistaking us for like-really-Together when all I wanted was for us to actually be together. It still occasionally feels like an open wound when people assume that Darkside and I are Really Together.

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