Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

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Brief De-Obfuscation for Those Just Joining Us: Darkside vs. Fuzzy

There are two males in my life (present and past) who get referred to in a very similar tone of mingled affection and annoyance. They are Darkside and Fuzzy Modem. I offer here a breakdown of some of the most common similarities and differences between Darkside and Fuzzy Modem.



Male. Male.

Geeky. Loves science fiction, computers, comics. Geeky. Loves science fiction, computers, comics.

Works at a computer hardware/software store. Does tech support via e-mail and phone.

No college degree that I know of. Extensive experience in 3D modeling. Has a Bachelor's Degree in Real Computer Geek Stuff like programming, DBs, and End-User-Smackity.

Lives in Alaska. Lives in Arizona.

Went to high school with meDid not go to high school with me

Did not go to college with me, though he was employed as a pizza guy at UAF while I attended there. Went to college with me

Has lived in assorted parts of the US Southwest regions courtesy of his parents' divorce. Has been to Alaska. Has never been to Alaska; has been all over various parts of Europe courtesy of the US Army

Occasionally collaborates with me on creative projects. Has creative chemistry with me like you wouldn't believe. Occasionally shyly shares glimpses at his creative projects in process. We've never worked on anything together, really.

Over six feet tall; ranges in build; no glasses; hairstyle subject to change; natural hair color currently brown. About my height; very skinny; wears glasses; dishwater blond when hair is a decent length; hair cut short for job interviews and appears light brown with bits of silver creeping in.

Known as "that idiot" on a regular basis. Intelligence has never been questioned; emotional baggage, maturity, and cluefulness sometimes are.

Divorced. One daughter (that we know of). Never married; no children.

His real name is Shawn. I do not use his real name online. I am likely to refer to him as "my blonder half" when talking about him aloud.

ADHD. No ADHD, gods be praised.

Lives by himself in whatever cruddy place he's renting now. Lives with his parents until finances stop being utterly unworkable.
Excessively extroverted. Actor. Requires an audience. The closest to 100% introvert I've ever met. Prickly and antisocial.

Has done a multitude of incredibly, immensely, mind-bogglingly stupid things. Sometimes they're hilarious, sometimes they're dangerous, and sometimes they're just stupid. Has heard a rather lot of the "That Idiot Shawn" stories. Wouldn't mind hanging out with the guy. Was "the sane/quiet/well-behaved one" in most social groups.

Was my #1 crush from 1996 to 2000. Is my #1 crush as of 2001 and counting.

Was sort of involved with me in an "are they or aren't they together?" kind of thing for a while. I think we'd be perfect together. He has his own ideas on that topic, and is inclined to disagree.
Borrowed my virginity; lost it somewhere. Attempting to get a hug from him is a struggle.

Was my high school best friend. Is my best friend right now, despite the odds.

Contact is sporadic and random and that's OK. I actively keep communications live. We talk on the phone once a week unless things get really hectic. I bought a car largely so I could keep face-to-face contact with him on my schedule, not his.

Is a poor emotional risk for a relationship partner. Is a very sensitive, sweet, warm, and caring kind of guy.

Inflicted untold emotional and psychological damage on me throughout the course of our doomed affair. Notable events included the entire summer of 1996, and that one time that I was trying to sleep and then when he sort of got engaged and neglected to tell me about it quite as promptly as I should have heard about it (notably, *before* the intimacy). Contributed heavily to more than one major depressive episode. Enjoyed mind games. Controlling and manipulative. Helped me work through most of the Shawn-inflicted damage. May have saved my life, or at least my sanity and stability, both of which I'd feared were lost.

Summary: Google Spreadsheets has a lot of improvements to go before they master export to HTML. Darkside is so much ♥, in a perfectly sour, sarcastic, and antisocial way. Fuzzy is a walking reality show waiting to happen, and my best position there is spectator, not co-star.

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