Excellently, cawingcrow pointed me at the dental college in the area, and that may be workable. But I'm probably going to still need help from the parents. That is a situation that is rather fraught with angst, and was the thing that finally saw me melting down in the break room. I e-mailed Mama and let her know what the situation was just before I went on lunch break (I've been nerving myself up to do that for about a month; it was finally spurred today by an un-ignorable bit of dental un-fun, and it had been working up to this after a few days last week waking up in the middle of the night to pain caused by accidentally holding my teeth clenched while sleeping) and promptly dissolved into a sick, shaking, stuttering, gibbering mess.
I explained some of it to one of the Snarky Lady's protégés, in non-revelatory detail. Social badness, of the sort that would leave Jane Austen feeling sorry for me. Miss Manners would probably pat me on the head and tell me to suck it up.
My cousin prescribed Everclear. Everclear is unwise, because a) I have not got any, b) I am a cheap date, c) I have a meeting with that one boss tomorrow and hangovers are contraindicated, and d) everclear and st. John's Wort probably don't mix too well -- but a glass of wine makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and very glad that I'm sensitive enough to alcohol that it would be noted right away if I should start abusing. (Last night, my phone drunk-dialed amberfox, though I only thought "Hey, I shall have a glass of wine!" after I was on the phone with her. Seriously, I was leaning on a counter and I heard the phone beep, and I wanted to know WTF, so I got it out of its little pouch and there was amberfox! It would have had to have hit the unlocking code and then some shortcut key or other, but weirder stuff has happened. And then I wandered around and then decided that the random bottle of $2 wine in the refrigerator would look better with a serving on the other side of my skin, and then declared that $2 wine when consumed from a $0.99 martini glass has to be the very definition of "trashy"... )