tired
easalle, her husband, and the sprog. Attending:
danielle_faye and her attached, some friend-dude of theirs, rhea_windrider and her husband, some neighborhood teen types, me, some tall redhead wearing a wig and her attached, and my new boss's nephew. There was lots of rocking out with Guitar Hero. There was lots of boozing-up. I perched on the couch and read for a while, then wandered over to near the random game. There was Tarot reading going on. There was pizza. There was some game involving electronic bongoes; that game managed to disturb the downstairs neighbors. (Bonkosity!) There was general goodwill and love for one's fellow man/woman/child. There were outrageous anecdotes, and good cheer between co-workers. (OMG, I have more co-workers!!) I got complimented on my fingernail polish, general style, and what I'd done with my hair. (I'd grabbed the top layer, twisted it, and then pinned it up, sort of like a vertical infinity bun that twisted back on itself.) Evidently I have a style and bearing similar to that of
figment0's late wife. rhea_windrider wanted to know what was up with the whole Darkside thing, and had some advice based on her instincts and what she knew of the situation. I had to explain more of what was going on. Yes, I am being very laid-back and not pushing the issue. Yes, this is on purpose. No, he is not open to the idea of any relationship with anybody right now. Yes, he dwells in the spare room of his parents. Yes, the last relationship he was in was over in 2001, and no, he's not likely to be open to the idea of any more relationships until he gets out of his parents' house. Yes, he knows that I care for him, that I care for him immensely, and the L-word has been used in his presence. No, he probably does not know that I would probably have an answer should he ask me a question, and why no, something tells me that telling him how very serious I am about him could send him running scared. Yes, I am open to the possibility that he might never be ready for a relationship, and yes, I am open to the possibility that someone else could develop a relationship as close and trusting with me. And it gets SO OLD having to explain this each time someone who means the best in the world comes along and tries to give the same advice that's already been given ten billion times. There are things in the way, and now that I know what a lot of them are, I am reasonably patient with the situation as it is. There are things that I can do something about, and I'm working slowly and steadily on those. There are things that I can do little to nothing about, but at least I know that they exist. I'd say that I'm OK with it, but since I'm not OK with it, that would be a damned lie, but what I am with it is patient and understanding and willing to give both of us the time and space and persistence that we need in order to have things work out at least reasonably OK. I'm not going to shove myself at him, because I value our friendship and I don't want to take the chance of alienating him by being too pushy. That would be a very real risk. Nor am I going to be too laid-back and stand the chance of losing track of him by not insisting on keeping our precious communication. That is a worse risk.
My shields were up tight at first, then got a little leaky. I worked to restore that. The link was nicely bright & warm, especially when I sent the greeting along. ♥ Darkside. Curmudgeon best friends are still love, as much as we might occasionally want to hit them with Cluebat 2.0.
There was a really cracktastic marathon on Adult Swim. Pickles would be cute, except he looks too much like someone I wish I'd never known. It's the balding long-scraggly-haired man thing, I think.
I got home safely. There was one car in another lane at the 17 and Peoria that I'm sure contained drunk people, as there was hooting and hollering emanating from it, but otherwise the streets were remarkably sane. There were lots of traffic lights on the blink, though.
