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The Serial Killers Upstairs

IRC log (edited for relevance), 'cause I don't have the energy to sum it up properly tonight:

[00:32] You are now known as Azz
[00:32] Azz: omg wtf.
[00:32] Azz: guy wandering around my apartment complex saying he's going to kill the two serial killers upstairs about two hours from now.
[00:32] JD|gw: ...
[00:32] JD|gw: .........
[00:32] Azz is on hold with the fucking police.
[00:33] JD|gw: goood
[00:33] Azz: and he's looking for more witnesses so he can do this.
[00:33] Azz: and asking people if they have a phone that works so he can call 911 about the serial killers.
[00:33] bridgetester: o.0
[00:33] Azz: I am thinking that it is not the "serial killers" that need a police call.
[00:34] JD|gw: part of me wonders what would happen if he did call 911 to tell them that he was going to kill the serial killers
[00:34] burr86: wtf
[00:34] Azz: I called the non-emergency line because it didn't seem at first like it was such an urgent situation, but when I walked back out there to try and see if I could spot him to get a good description, he said "OK i need one more witness"
[00:34] Azz: and I'm all wtf.
[00:35] JD|gw: yeah o_O
[00:35] burr86: holy shite
[00:35] Azz: Wearing a dark shirt, dark shorts, a jacket, about six feet male caucasian or hispanic, dark hair cut short clean-shaven.
[00:35] JD|gw: is he armed? :x
[00:35] Azz: WHY ME.
[00:36] Azz: I ... don't know?
[00:36] Azz: He was not carrying anything visibly.
[00:36] Azz: but plenty of room to hide stuff.
[00:36] JD|gw: :|
[00:36] bridgetester: perhaps you should call 911 instead?
[00:36] Azz: and he was planning to kick their door in, then wanting FEEDBACK FROM THE AUDIENCE on the best way to proceed about killing them, he was plotting to start with the kneecaps..
[00:36] JD|gw: .......
[00:36] bridgetester: *instead of the nonemergency line
[00:36] JD|gw: "audience"?
["audience" = there was a woman sitting out by her door, and he was talking to her about how he was planning to take his time about killing the serial killers, and wondering how he should go about it. At this point in place of the hold message ringing starts and I shift attention to that.]
[00:37] Azz: brb police om line.
[00:40] Azz: haha he already called.
[00:40] Azz: Officer already on the way.
[00:40] burr86: ... he called 911 about the serial killers he's going to kill?
[00:40] Azz: yes.
[00:40] burr86: .... oh my.
[00:40] Azz: well, if YOU had serial killers in YOUR apartment complex...
[00:41] Azz: (serial killers? In MY...??)
[00:41] supersat: it's more likely than you think!
[00:41] Azz: w.t.f.
[00:41] bridgetester: ................
[00:41] Azz: (am I a magnet for WEIRD SHIT??)
[00:41] JD|gw: (yes)
[00:42] V_PauAmma_V hangs a "weirdness magnet" sign around Azz's neck.
[00:43] Azz: It's getting to the point where one of my itinerant writing group ladies is all "I'm never sure when you're making stuff up or when it's for real, but the AK-47 thing was too surreal to be made up..." ...except I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP HOLY FUCK.
[00:43] JD|gw: which one?
[00:43] Azz: V; you didn't meet her.
[00:43] JD|gw: oh.
[00:44] Azz: She's off in Maine or somewhere dogsitting.
[00:45] UrsaMajor o.O at azz.
[00:46] UrsaMajor sends Azz a nice, normal, calm day without people with guns
[00:46] HopefulNebula reads backscroll, goes wtf, hugs azz
[00:47] bridgetester: are the police still on the line, or did they just go with the "officer on the way"?
[00:49] exor674 gives Azz a backrub
[00:52] Azz: They went with officer on the way.
[00:52] Azz done with reading backscroll now
[00:54] asciident: ARE there serial killers in your apartment? O_o
[00:54] Azz: There are no serial killers in the apartment!
[00:54] asciident: Um. K.
[00:55] Azz: Unless you count serial killers of BUGS, in which case there are two of us plus cat-we-are-catsitting!
[00:55] Azz: But not serial killars of people.
[00:55] asciident: Your life really is kinda weird.
[00:55] Azz: This is why I write comedy.
[00:56] Azz: Surreal things just happen to me, I accept them, and promptly tell those around me because WTF.
[01:00] LadyDiana reads scrollback per recommendation and goes O__________________________O
[01:02] mbaehr: Azz: according to the last page of scrollback, your neighbor is off his meds
[01:02] JD|gw: sounds like it
[01:02] burr86: hahahaha.
[01:02] Azz: Probably.
[01:03] Azz: Did I mention the part where there are a lot of semi-independent psych cases living at that end of the complex?
[01:03] Azz: 'cause, well. There are.
[01:03] mbaehr: no but it follows
[01:03] mbaehr: seriously, that's just a schizophrenic who hasn't eaten his seroquel
[01:03] mbaehr: he'll probably be 5150ed by the end of the week
[01:04] LadyDiana: you definitely need to move
[01:04] LadyDiana: wtf-o?
[01:04] mbaehr: that, or pump aerosolized neuroleptics through the AC ducts
[01:05] Azz: I used to live at that end, and there were numerous incidents involving banging on doors, cops, and one really exciting morning when one of the psych cases scooped up the supervisors' set of all the keys they need including the keys to the med lockbox and all the spare keys to all the client apartments, and locked herself in her apartment with them.
[01:05] mbaehr: haha
[01:05] mbaehr: crafty little psycho
[01:05] mbaehr: i like her
[01:05] Azz: yep!
[01:05] mbaehr: she's got spunk!
[01:05] JD|gw: haha
[01:05] exor674: med lockbox?
[01:06] Azz: Of course, this was because she'd mistaken them for her own keys, but still.
[01:06] mbaehr: was the med lockbox iron-clad?
[01:06] JD|gw: i imagine the med lockbox is like, emergency dose
[01:06] JD|gw: doses.
[01:06] mbaehr snickers
[01:06] Azz: I gathered from the conversation that all the meds for all the patients were kept in a locked box of some sort and distributed because they couldn't manage their own med situations.
[01:07] Azz: so every morning they'd be handing out the meds, and then when Maria had the keys, no one else could get their meds because the keys were gone...
[01:07] mbaehr: haha
[01:07] mbaehr: and then the building slowly degenerated into bedlam
[01:07] mbaehr: patient by patient...
[01:08] Azz: so there's the care supervisor out banging on Maria's door telling her to open the door and bring out the keys
[01:08] Azz: Ordinarily they'd have used their copy of her key, but that was on the ring she lifted
[01:09] Azz: so someone was off trying to locate the apartment complex manager and get their spare key for her apartment
[01:09] Azz: It eventually resolved itself, but it was certainly interesting while it lasted.
[01:10] exor674: Azz: where do you live?
[01:11] Azz: Phoenix, AZ.
[01:11] Azz: [more specific locating within city]
[01:15] exor674: no, I mean -- in what kind o place, the talk of patients and what not are confusing me
[01:16] Azz: An apartment complex. A cluster of apartments at one end of it are rented by a managed care kind of affair involving psych patients.
[01:16] JD|gw: which end is that? is that the one with the sign about the kitties for sale?
[01:16] Azz: That's the end.
[01:17] JD|gw: kk
[01:17] JD|gw has mental image now
[01:18] Azz: The extreme south end is evidently OK. The middle of the south end, the side by the road, has all sorts of crazy. I used to live in the middle of the south end in the side by the parking lot.
[01:18] Azz: The end of the south end has less crazy.
[01:18] Azz: The south end of the middle has the gym and less crazy.
[01:18] JD|gw: i never figured out which end was north, tbh
[01:18] JD|gw: i'd need to see a map of the complex before i could do that
[01:19] Azz: The middle of it all is the laundry room, the pool, and me.
[01:19] mbaehr: i like my apartment building better
[01:19] mbaehr: next door to me is a meth dealer with AIDS
[01:19] Azz: Then I have no idea what is down at the north end.
[It digressed from here into mbaehr's apartment complex insanity, and more mundane news.]
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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