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2007.07.12 Strawberry lemon water.

2007.07.12 Strawberry lemon water.

12:43

Tonight might be a late night. Late-ish start, but at least I'm motivated and that headache is NOT STARTING NO IT IS NOT.

1:15

Mmm, stevia. To be distinguished from stevieg, because it is entirely appropriate to make mmm-tasty noises about a "dietary supplement" that's actually a sweetener, but it is entirely inappropriate to make mmm-tasty noises about a friend who is also the boyfriend of another friend, and there's an assumption of general monogamy in that direction. But stevia is tasty in strawberry lemon water. It makes it almost like strawberry lemonade! It has much less of a weird aftertaste than old-school non-sugar sweeteners, and even less of a weird aftertaste than Splenda. I approve.

1:28

I don't approve of the part where my body goes looking for the sugar it thinks it has, and I get that weird spindizzy feeling. That's not on my list of good things. But otherwise, win.

1:45

Deskmate is upset over the stuff that Field is doing. I should not be on the list of people around whom she may vent, because even when she's absolutely right, she's also absolutely intolerable.

2:54

Just because I am sitting here at the computer and you are not at the computer, please do not ask me to do shit while I'm in the middle of something. If I cannot speak, please immediately retract your request and go far away, very fast.

3:02

Expressed an edited version of this to the person who did this. I was deep in hack mode, and when I'm that deep, I can't prioritize effectively. I figured first I cannot do this, then maybe I could, but I shouldn't interrupt what I was doing, except the telnet was free, so I could, but by that time I'd forgotten the exact details of what I was doing and went on finger memory, so then I thought I got it wrong, and then I was completely interrupted from hack mode. Dammit.

At least she was sorry. But when I lose my language, that means that I'm no longer available to you or anyone except probably those who have permissions to enter my brain.

An attention condition is an asset in certain kinds of work. You can either pay attention to everything (but this must be carefully managed to avoid swamping you) or you can hyperfocus on the thing that you're doing for a long time, so deep that you get incredible things done... and when someone jars you out of it, it's hard to get that back.

3:35

I think it's this state that neurotypical people only get into with deep meditation. They only get into the split-attention thing when incredibly distracted, and they don't know what to do with it. I'm close enough to neurotypical that I don't fall apart like someone with severe ADHD does, and I know how to cope with lists and reminders and my brain getting into nice little routines. The hacktrance is easier to get for me than someone neurotypical, but it's still not as easy to get into as sometimes it would be nice to have it. Is this why artists have the reputation of being flighty? We can sit for hours working on some one thing, but release us into everyday life and all its stimuli, and we're all over the place.

4:08

E-mailed the Guru to ask if he can restore the jobs that I didn't get to pull from before they were archived. *facepalm* That's almost all my bad. They were live yesterday, but I was headachin'.

4:37

So right at the height of my frustration, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v383/misjess/1.jpg got linked in IRC. This led to a link at my previous efforts vs. that photo. At first I declared that adding a hat was beyond my talents, but I was sufficiently irritated with my progress to hit up Google Image Search and find something appropriate.

5:21

Oh, wow. I did not realize that I was so very upset about that thing that I'm upset about. If I dwell on it, though, I'll get more upset. But my personal life aside, the stats-pulling is coming along nicely except for the part where I didn't get to those jobs in time and I'll have to wait on the Guru.

6:39

Since I'm torn about whether to gather all the things together or not, perhaps I should just go and collect the other stuff first. That would make more sense.

8:32

The Guru got me my stuff restored. Hooray for the Guru! I'm going to see if I can get it all pulled tonight before Stressy College Chick goes home and I get to be kicked out too.

Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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