"They have programs for this," I say.
"Better than this one?" she says.
I guess he had to get his kicks somehow.
Tonight I am darkening the ends of my hair. Blue dye turns my brown hair black, so I'm touching up my ends. They'll glow blue in bright sunlight, and I'll have gotten rid of another bottle of god-knows-what in the shower.
synecdochic has a variant on the pride thread this week -- rather than accomplishments, this is skills. I can list out a few now --
I can identify the sex of a mosquito or an adult chicken.
I can write humor -- slapstick, situational, and political.
I can perform basic to moderately advanced computer troubleshooting and repair.
Given manual, tools, parts, and some oversight, I can perform basic car repairs.
I can make a meal out of the ingredients at hand, although I might prefer not to.
I can follow a recipe with a reasonable degree of success.
I can bake commercially, given the chance to obtain a food handler's card in the area.
I can tutor an ADHD student.
I can identify which student a handwritten assignment without a name belongs to, given a roster, the remainder of the turned-in assignments, and a complete set of handwriting samples from the entire class.
I can count back change.
I can operate an automobile in Phoenix traffic, in the rain, in the snow, on the snow, on dirt roads, on snowy and muddy dirt roads, on packed-snow ice, and (cautiously) on black ice, with or without a fresh dusting of snow powder. (Studded snow tires required for some of these conditions.)
I can summarize effectively.
I can write a reasonably coherent first draft of a novel in 30 days.
I can moderate an online community.
I can get away with Being a Character under many circumstances.
I can read, write, spell, and comprehend English better than many other people.
I can perform certain entertaining and fun bedroom tricks.
I can subdue cantankerous roosters and get them into doll dresses.
Given a hockey stick and table scraps, I can herd chickens.
I can deal with angry ganders barehanded, although both of us would prefer that I just have a hockey stick for him to chew on.
I can build a database to replace spreadsheets in a business setting, although I would prefer that a trained professional do it.
I can find my way back to many places I've been before.
I can read a map. (I can't fold one, though.)
I can create dreadful puns, and hold my own against pauamma and Darkside.