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Grandma

Grandma, Dad's mother, has died. She was well over 80, and has been declining for several years. When last I saw her, she still did have coherent periods, but they were growing shorter and shorter. Someone from home called as I was heading home from Darkside's. I called back and left a message, and called Guide Dog Aunt and Tay-Tay and left messages as well. I hope it was peaceful. One of the last times I saw her, she said that she just wanted to lie down in a chair on the lawn and fall asleep and not wake up. Guide Dog Aunt thought that was morbid and said that Grandma had been diagnosed with depression. I wasn't so sure about that. It just sounded like she was very old and tired and everything wasn't working anymore, especially her mind. I don't know what-all was wrong besides old and falling apart. I hope it was peaceful.

I am not sure in what proportion to be sad and be relieved. It was a long trip downhill, and I'm glad it's over. I never spent much time with her. But she is my Grandma. Mostly I'm just numb right now, I guess. [Edit: I did not see much of her during my childhood, as she was in California and I was in Alaska. This is going to be a much worse blow for Dad, Mama, and the California branch of the family.]

Grandma is survived by her four children, six grandchildren, and a couple of great-grandchildren as well (the elder set of cousins are both married off).
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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