Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic
azurelunatic

"The Magic Hamster has run out of magic", from IRC, in a fictional place that is not quite here:

(Borrowing the extra context from farrow_marshall: So everyone needed to blow off a bit of steam, and somehow this meant that it was time for a crossover, between That Nice Mr. Balim and #dw and the Cracked Phoenix universe (which doesn't matter much in this fic; just, Nick is a demon who has a casual friendship with Mr. Balim, and doesn't mind that Mr. Balim might have a few skeletons in his proverbial sarcophagus closet).)

Title: The Magic Hamster has run out of magic.
Author: azurelunatic
Fandom: An AU of the Broken Wings AU of SG-1, the one that crosses over with the Cracked Phoenix universe and also crosses over with #dw. The Broken Wings AU belongs to synecdochic and ivorygates; and whoever owns SG-1 owns SG-1. #dw belongs to mark and denise. nagios is an instance of nagios, and this instance's notification text was entered by someone on crack. Cracked Phoenix, and therefore Nick, belong to me. INGVA belongs to THE WILD PLACES.
Word Count: ~400
Warnings: On. Crack. IRC. INGVA.
Author's Note: This is possibly only going to make sense to me, synecdochic, and rb. It ... may not even make sense to all of us. Thanks to synecdochic for correcting the IRC name that Mr. Balim was likely to show up as, and to ravenblack.net's surreality generator, and to #dw for telling me how much crack I was on.


Dramatis Personae:
nagios: a Bot
INGVA: QUEEN OF THE WILD PLACES
Nick: Himself.
Kevin Balim: A businessman in Seattle.

nagios: HEY MARK
nagios: HEY MARK
INGVA: YOU CAN SUE ME ALL YOU LIKE, BUT YOU WILL NEVER STOP MY HARMONICA.
nagios: HEY MARK
nagios: IS YOUR SERVER RUNNING
nagios: I CAN'T PING IT
INGVA: WHY DOESN'T THE MAGIC HAMSTER WORK ANYMORE?
nagios: I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW
*** Nick is now known as MagicHamster
MagicHamster: I AM ON STRIKE UNTIL WORKING CONDITIONS IMPROVE
INGVA: HAVE YOU SEEN MY COCK? IT WAS RUNNING FREE IN THE WILD PLACES BUT IT RAN A BIT TOO FAST.
MagicHamster: Haven't, sorry.
nagios: HEY MARK
nagios: SERVER'S UP
nagios: I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW
*** ElShaddai (kbalim@seattle.us.t-r.farrow-marshall.com) has joined
ElShaddai: Good evening.
MagicHamster: Greeblings & hallucinations!
nagios: HEY MARK
nagios: SERVER'S STILL UP
ElShaddai: I hope all is well in the land of dreams.
MagicHamster: El: Server's back up; it went down for a bit.
*** MagicHamster is now known as Nick
ElShaddai: I did not notice that. Nick, a pleasure to see you, as always.
INGVA: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
Nick: Likewise. What brings you here?
ElShaddai: Curiosity, nothing more. And you?
Nick: Research.
Nick: General research, no specifics; my caseload is pretty light.
ElShaddai: I prefer to use open source when possible, as my technical team prefers it. Open source, or develop it in-house. External contractors are not always to be trusted.
INGVA: SEND ME AN INTERN, PREFERABLY WITH LOTS OF CREAM.
Nick: How's business?
ElShaddai: Ingva, if you want my intern, you may have him with my blessing.
ElShaddai: Nick, business is starting to look up again. Even in this economy. I have long believed that if I look after my people, they will look after me, and I have every confidence that this will see me through.
Nick: Good to hear. I can't complain either. People are looking for solutions to their problems, including unorthodox ones.
nagios: HEY MARK
nagios: HEY MARK
nagios: HEY MARK
nagios: IS THE ROOF ON FIRE WHERE YOU ARE
nagios: I CAN'T PING IT
INGVA: GERBILS ARE NOT ONLY FOR CURRY, MY FRIENDS. LEND ME YOUR EARS, YOUR EYES, YOUR CARDBOARD PAPER TOWEL TUBES.
ElShaddai: Nagios, I would think Mark would hear you the first time, if he's listening at all.
Nick: I haven't heard any word on the other matter, sadly, but if I do, I will certainly let you know.
nagios: I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW
INGVA: I THINK IT WOULD BE HARD TO BE MORE FLAMING THAN IS ALREADY THE CASE.

(Nick: El, don't mind nagios, it's a bot.)

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