My brain finally caught up with the rest of me, and then it was only a matter of finding something of the appropriate height, and figuring out where my headset was.
Upon examining the bottom of what has been known as "the fish" since
sorcha007 first produced it as a vessel in which to hold laundry quarters, I realized that I had in fact been classifying it incorrectly since Day 1. "The fish" is not, in fact, a vase. It is a (plastic, American) yard. This does much to explain why it is so extremely fucking ugly. (I've grown attached to it, for whatever reason. I'm unsure why.) I did manage to call my best friend on Sunday, immediately after I accomplished my feat of telephonery. He was, however, watching a movie with his parents; he called back somewhat later, and we had a cheerful chat.
Guide Dog Aunt has successfully quit her job with the puppy daycare, and is now launching out into business on her own. Her first official client is an agoraphobic Dalmatian. This made it into the conversation, and we came up with several bad phobias for particular breeds of dog to have. (Warning, these are not even bad puns; they're just very lame.)
shepherd with fear of sheep
foxhound, fear of foxes
a retriever who fears fetch
weiner afraid of a hotdog stand
scottie afraid of kilts
terrier that won't wait (tarrier)
dalmatian afraid of fires
afghan retriever who doesn't like yarn
rottweiler that's just not wiley enough
an extremely thin husky
a very loud malemute
a cowed bulldog
a bulldog in a china shop
a floppy mastiff
a wolfhound that likes to run with the pack
a labradoodle that hates drawing
poodle with a puddlephobia?
a poodle puddlejumper / a poodle piloting a puddlejumper
a shaved bearded collie / bearded lady collie
police dog with a fear of sirens
drug-sniffing dog with an addiction
seeing eye dog that likes to chase cars
seeing eye dog with cataracts
