Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

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Dogsitting, sex ed, drugs, and attack of the killer artichokes.

12:36 PM 5/18/2010
Unhelpful but evocative phrases: "Fell out of the ugly tree, and hit their face on every branch going down." (Sometimes certain people and I should not be left to talk with each other; we are a horrible influence on each other.)

1:05 PM 5/18/2010

[18:13] remark> or magic.
[18:13] remark> CHANNEL POLL: would a faraday cage serve as an effective shield against avada kedavra?
[18:13] woggy> Negatory.
[18:15] mathsnerd> double negatory
[18:15] exor674> just cover yourself in live rodents!

In which my artichoke recipe makes a difference:
[17:40] exor674> okay, where was that artichoke post?
[17:40] exor674> boilingwater or was it omnomnom
[17:41] exor674> ah, boilingwater!

[17:52] exor674> okay, I am going to go murder and boil my artichoke now
[17:52] exor674> and will blame Azz if i burn my kitchen down!

[18:07] exor674> attempted artichoke attacks: 1
[18:07] exor674> thing jumped out of the fridge at my foot :()
[18:11] Azz> I warned you that artichokes are dangerous!
[18:12] mathsnerd> Azz: Furnishing Impressionable Young Minds With Dangerous Foodstuffs Since the 1980s

[19:59] exor674> whee! after some fail with misestimating pan size and having to dig out my larger one
[19:59] exor674> I HAS A TASTY ARTICHOKE!
[20:00] exor674> this is the first time I've had an artichoke since my middle teens

[23:01] jld> JDC is totally huffing the angel food cake.
[23:03] JDC> it smells good dammit
[23:03] JDC> *_*
[23:03] JDC> pastry bliss.

Pyro: I have ginger biscuits

Azure: yaaaay!

Pyro: they are not quite softening the blow of realising I know less than a third of this year's physics syllabus

Azure: :(


Azure: My physics is mostly limited to "an object in motion tends to stay in motion", "every action has an equal and opposite reaction", and "this is why we can't have nice things"

3:01 PM 5/19/2010
Have been installed in office of $dogsittees' home; have figured out the right combination of things to buttonmash on the remotes with a bit of guidance about what needs turning on and that it was the two separate remotes (if I ever get a system of that complexity, you bet your ass there's going to be whiteout and highlighter, and corresponding colored dots on pieces of equipment), and the all-important Discovery Channel located (Comcast in Pacifica, it's channel 15).

Dog is friendly, waggy, half-deaf, 14, a Black Lab mix that's going white on the muzzle and on the feet, and hasn't wanted Outside when I've offered it. There will be walkies later. For now, I think it's time for a nap.

8:28 AM 5/20/2010
I should probably officially mention that I've set up a ... actually third ... Twitter account, but one that I'm using more often than the second. I'm normally @azurelunatic, with a second account that I don't publicize. That one is for easily logging time and such details as I see fit to share about my magic/religious practice (I don't follow anyone on that account, nor do I check its replies, so there's no need to add it if you're reading this journal). Now I've set up @squeemachine so I can chatter as much as I like while still showing consideration on my main account for my followers who aren't fannish about the same things, and/or are avoiding spoilers.

10:33 AM 5/20/2010
I have been in an amazingly good mood this morning, starting from when I first set foot out of bed, even before I took my meds. Coming home with OMGYAY from the farmer's market has just made this better. I think lunch is going to involve a fry-up and garlic toast.

My haul: (also at [community profile] fresh_haul)

3 baskets of raspberries: very fresh, but not quite as sweet and delicious as the ones we got from Trader Joe's the other week. I'm near to finishing the first basket, and the rest may not last the day.
Several mandarin oranges, large: the one the guy gave me as a sample (he gave me a whole one as a sample, not just a piece of one) was very tasty. I'm being a good girl and finishing the navel oranges that the homeowners got for me before starting in on the mandarins.
One bonus red cherry in with the oranges: omnomnom!
Lots of peas: these are possibly the disappointment. I got them because they were the first peas I saw, and I was very much in the "OMG NEED PEAS NOW" mode, but they were limper and more beat-up than the other peas at the market, so I'm possibly suffering from remorse for this impulse buy. They'll still be good sliced over the fry-up I'm contemplating. And *munch munch* they're still tasty.
Two small, pickle-sized cucumbers
Two bundles asparagus, not the superthin ones, but not the huge ones I found earlier. (Is it just me who thinks asparagus belongs with chicken?)
One bundle fresh dill; I'll likely hang the bulk of the bundle, so what I don't use now will dry.
One bundle random mint: an impulse purchase. ??pleH
A bag of white button mushrooms
Two bundles green onions

I was a good girl and did not buy the very expensive blueberries, even though they were tasty: I already had a bunch of fruit, and blueberries do not keep the best, and they will be cheaper later in the season. Sensible fruit-related decisions are sensible!

11:41 AM 5/20/2010
On my checklist for mental health: radio. Because canned music gets too repetitive after a while, though sometimes it's the perfect thing. But the silence wears on me more than I thought it does.

The Logical Song just came on, and I spun around the kitchen floor kicking off in my slippery stockings. Though to be fair, I started dancing when it was "Carry On My Wayward Son". (103.7 FM, for locals.)

Fanfiction as reaction to the creation

12:19 PM 5/20/2010
The phrase that came into my head some while ago, "Help me crate the rooster of the night", which was of course to the tune of a well-known Andrew Lloyd Weber song, and illustrated by Ursula Vernon, with two people in heavily padded protective gear attempted to stuff a stroppy Black Langshan rooster into a large cat/small dog crate, has started echoing around my head again, with bonus backstory starting to trickle in. Oh, I wish sometimes that I was just able to let people into my head to see, because translating it is sometimes a bit of bother. Oil pastels, I think, or maybe acrylic, and a graphic novel.

I have no idea why night-chickens even exist, or how, or what relation they have to nighthorses [probably none, not even in the same universe, but it may be chicken:night-chicken::horse:nighthorse], but the universe has the feeling of a black velvet painting -- lush and slightly sleazy.

12:31 PM 5/20/2010
Catboxen cleaned, old wet cat food cleared away, trash bins hauled in, water bowls changed out, dog is sunning himself in the back yard. Cats still invisible.

12:50 PM 5/20/2010
Saw one of the invisible cats upstairs while on hairball patrol. He said "Httth!" and disappeared.

12:53 PM 5/20/2010
Collecting a good model of every car you've ever owned, and perhaps making it up like yours, strikes me as a useful mode of model car collection for those who aren't particularly car-crazy inherently, but have owned cars or had strong sentimental attachments to specific cars, but it's impractical to keep the actual car around. Display box also featuring the license plate and the key optional.

1:26 PM 5/20/2010
I am exactly the kind of asshole who corrects your spelling errors when replying to you on an email list. Quietly. Without disagreeing with your point.

3:52 PM 5/20/2010
Why are you using a period to end a sentence that is in fact a question? Do not do this.

Dill might make a good toothpaste flavor. Fresh dill, not dried dill. It's all mouth-refreshing and stuff.

So very tired. I think perhaps my perkycheer! of this morning wore off. Lunch was v. delicious, though. Perhaps it is naptime now? Dog continues generally well-behaved.

6:21 PM 5/20/2010
Nhhhg is my brain even going to boot up?

9:36 PM 5/20/2010
Dinner for dog, accomplished. Post-dinner crap-in-yard session for dog, accomplished. Walk with dog, accomplished. (I prefer to scoop dog poop out of the yard than to scoop it up while on walk; getting the dog to poop before the walk is my preference.) Brain is near to full evening speed, which is to say in this context that some of its theoretical functions are online, but the actual practical functions are um-gibber. Also, text is working better than speech. As usual.

9:39 PM 5/20/2010
Speech about sex and drugs, also accomplished. I shall reproduce/paraphrase the bulk of it here, although I imagine that there are not so many people I know who would be in need of it. This is, uh, rather less nuanced than many lectures on same; this is aimed at the spots I personally found lacking in public school education in the mid-1990s.

There's actually less obsession with holes than you might think in gay sex, and more "if there's an orgasm somewhere, or at least if there could be, it's sex". Gay men can get pretty creative. So can lesbians. (And bisexuals like me have the best of both worlds. Also the worst.) The rude boys asking the teacher embarrassing questions are missing out on a prime opportunity for actual education, such as "how do lesbians have sex?" because that is basically an instruction manual in "how to make a woman happy without involving your stupid penis".

One of my friends (V) is an actual sex educator, and not the stupid emasculated sex education one gets in most schools, and she says that the reason that the unmarried teen sex rate is up is due to the divergence between time of average onset of adolescence and time of average marriage. It used to be only a year or two between adolescence and marriage, so someone could reasonably be expected to wait a year or two to get married and then start boinking. But the age of adolescence has been falling and the age of marriage has been rising. Now it's at least four years, or more, assuming average adolescence at 14 and average age of marriage at 18 (hint: these are not the real numbers for the US, they are the ones I pulled out of my ass; the real marriage age is over 18, and I don't know what the adolescence age is, but 14 sounds like it might be slightly late).

So if you would like actual sensible sex education, even for the dumb/obvious questions, do not hesitate to ask sensible people who know what they're doing, rather than teacher/parents, if you don't feel comfortable asking them, and/or their advice is less than useless. (As an example of one of the things that I totally missed from public school sex ed: I knew about orgasms. I knew about sex. I knew about reproduction. I knew about falling in love. I did not put together "people have sex because it's a great way to have orgasms, and orgasms are good" for THE LONGEST TIME. It was embarrassing.) More to the point, if some dastardly boy swears something is a reliable method of contraception, and you're inclined to get it on with him, please check with some reliable source of information before taking his word on it.

And "AlAnon" or whatever they're calling themselves, the outfit that aren't Alcoholics Anonymous but are very anti-drug and so forth? They've got links to Scientology and a lot of their anti-drug information is not just scary, but also Wrong. "Drugs are bad, mmkay?" is insufficiently nuanced, though it works many situations. People do drugs because the drugs feel good at the time, generally when their life sucks enough that the drugs feel better than reality. Most drugs make you either stupid or crazy while you're on them. (Depressants make you stupid. Stimulants make you paranoid and hyper. Hallucinogens send you down the rabbit hole, and if you don't like what you see while you're down there, you may wind up with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or something of the like. People who are already afraid of their own brains and imaginations shouldn't take hallucinogens.) Never trust any decision you make while on drugs unless you, and someone who is sane, have reviewed it while off drugs. (Some drugs are illegal because they really are that dangerous. Some of them are illegal because they're too cheap, too fun, people flipped out, and OMG BLACK PEOPLE WERE USING THEM. Some are illegal because you have to have experience equivalent to a doctor's to use them safely. Some are not illegal but are dangerous enough they should be *cough*alcohol*cough*, except we saw how that worked out with Prohibition. (Spoiler: it ended badly.) ) Some people are on drugs to make them sane, because the crazy from the drug counteracts the crazy in their brain (more or less).

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