HEY TWITS. If you've come here as the result of my sending this link to you on Twitter, you are not my friend, I don't want to be your friend, and this means you . You've already wasted enough of my time, and I'd sooner punch you in the face than look at you. Twitter is where I come to relax. I follow friends, entertainment, and news and services that I think are relevant to my interests. If you think the majority of the below describes you: Web 2.0 SEO entrepreneur marketing fresh monetizing social media driven self-promotion viral marketing branding synergy strategic solutions self-starting savvy leader profitable market share ...I am probably going to block and report your ass for spam faster than you can say 'Google page ranking'. I do not want you; I do not like you; I may even actively want your business to fail. Hell, I want your entire soulsucking industry to go down in flames like the biggest dot-com bomb that ever sprayed itself down with gasoline then lit up a smoke just as the gasoline vapor/air mixture reached the exact optimum for an explosion that would make all five MythBusters green with envy. I do not want to buy your shit. I do not want to be told that I need to buy your shit. I do not want to be subjected to your assault on my psyche to attempt to convince me that I will be miserable without your shit. I do not want to share tips and tricks on how to get marks to bite your baited hooks, and I resent being mistaken for anything that you would consider a colleague. I do not appreciate brute force without elegance. I am not in your target market, and I violently resent you attempting to place me in it. If attention is the currency of the internet, and you have come to my attention and I find that you have wasted my time, rest assured that it is not because I am paying attention to you, it is because you have mugged some of my attention from me, and I am going to do as much intellectual violence as I can to you in the shortest length of time that I can, and I am going to enjoy doing it. Feel lucky that one minute is more time than I feel like wasting on you, and I'm going to devote it to being as effective as possible at getting you out of my life and everyone else's. Crossposted. comments .