OMG WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS. JUSTICE!!
2:02 AM 8/5/2010
To illustrate for the people who have not seen me sing this in person: the motherfucker chorus. (LJ voice post.)
5:42 PM 8/5/2010
Earlier today, I wound up at Ms. Magazine's 10 Things Men and Boys Can Do to Stop Human Trafficking, which struck me as having its heart in the right place, but being perhaps excessively sex-negative, and choosing to deal with the complexities surrounding all types of sex work by instructing people to entirely shun the sex industry. I couldn't leave that without comment. So I left them a comment, which I have reproduced here for posterity.
A good starting place, but insufficiently nuanced on some fronts. My thoughts:
1) Check your own speech for the word "pimp". For example, "pimp my ride", "pimp my work" -- you don't necessarily have to cut it out, but be aware of how often you say it and whether this is contributing to normalization of the word.
If you're shunning music that glorifies and normalizes pimping, avoid painting with too broad a brush -- there's more to rap and hip-hop than just pimping and sex, and if you dismiss the whole genre, fans of the genre will likely dismiss your statements.
2) If your reason for wanting to pay for sex is because you'd like to do something specific that your current partner won't do -- have you tried asking if they'd like to try that? Remember to be open to what they'd like to do as well, and concentrate on their pleasure as well as your own. They might surprise you.
If there are some circumstances when you *do* hire the services of a prostitute, be mindful and ethical. Ascertain that she is doing sex work by choice. Keep your own disease-testing up to date, as well as checking on hers. Use a condom. Pay her directly, or if you are visiting a brothel, make sure that it treats its employees properly. Behave respectfully -- just because she is doing sex work does not mean that she deserves your contempt. Don't go beyond the limits of what you have agreed on -- if she gives limits (no kissing, no anal) abide by them. Don't verbally abuse her, unless she's agreed beforehand to a humiliation scene (you would probably have to pay extra for that). This sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it? But if you can't do your research and behave respectfully to a sex worker, don't hire one.
Fight the circumstances that result in people who don't genuinely like sex work turning to it. Fight poverty. Fight drug addiction.
Stop calling women you disagree with "whores", "sluts", "bitches". Stop implying that a successful woman must have traded sex for advancement, and could not possibly have gotten where she is on her own merits.
3) If you do visit a strip club, be as rigorous about your research as if it were any other sort of sex work. Beware of strip clubs with drug use, or if someone offers sex for an additional fee.
4) Be smart about your pornography. Do your research on the studios that produce it, and how they treat their workers. Do not consume pornography that is produced by a studio that disallows condom use, for example. Home-produced sex videos may not have the sleek production values of professional studios, but the likelihood that everyone involved is enjoying themselves is pretty high. Written stories and art may not always have the immediacy of video or photos, but they can be produced entirely without exploitation.
Be aware of any kinks you have, and look for depictions of Safe, Sane, and Consensual/Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. Even if some pretty weird things turn you on, there are probably other people out there who are into it. Your kinks are likely a private matter, but should not be a source of shame. Many people have fantasies that arouse them that they'd never want to carry out in person; just because you enjoy fantasizing about something doesn't mean you'll want to do it.
5) Agreed. Men can start discussion threads. They can also call shenanigans when other men display disrespect to women, refrain from linking to misogynist humor, quash other men who say that some woman needs to be raped, and let other men know that if they do not cut it out, they will be shunned.
8:36 PM 8/5/2010
I've been slowly reading through Walker's ruling, and I'm more and more impressed with him.
An initiative measure adopted by the voters deserves great respect. The considered views and opinions of even the most highly qualified scholars and experts seldom outweigh the determinations of the voters. When challenged, however, the voters’ determinations must find at least some support in evidence. This is especially so when those determinations enact into law classifications of persons. Conjecture, speculation and fears are not enough. Still less will the moral disapprobation of a group or class of citizens suffice, no matter how large the majority that shares that view. The evidence demonstrated beyond serious reckoning that Proposition 8 finds support only in such disapproval. As such, Proposition 8 is beyond the constitutional reach of the voters or their representatives.
4:31 AM 8/6/2010
Is there a fundamental difference between "pics plz" and "pics or it didn't happen"?
11:04 PM 8/6/2010
MY THREAD HERE
1:44 AM 8/7/2010
I'm reading Walker's ruling still.
If you fear that, upon hearing that same-sex marriage is possible, your daughter declares that she wants to marry a princess, not a prince? That is not the sign of your straight daughter becoming a lesbian, that is the sign of your lesbian daughter realizing that there are other people like her in the world, and that she doesn't have to fear isolation for being herself. Or you may have a bisexual daughter. Or your straight daughter may have realized that she actually prefers a drag queen.
Oh, Judge Walker, for you I might consider an exception to my general concept that pregnancy is not a viable option for me, and might consider carrying a child for you or any husband you might acquire.
To the extent California has an interest in encouraging sexual activity to occur within marriage (a debatable proposition in light of Lawrence, 539 US at 571) the evidence shows Proposition 8 to be detrimental to that interest. Because of Proposition 8, same-sex couples are not permitted to engage in sexual activity within marriage. FF 53. Domestic partnerships, in which sexual activity is apparently expected, are separate from marriage and thus codify California’s encouragement of non-marital sexual activity. Cal Fam Code §§ 297-299.6. To the extent proponents seek to encourage a norm that sexual activity occur within marriage to ensure that reproduction occur within stable households, Proposition 8 discourages that norm because it requires some sexual activity and child-bearing and child-rearing to occur outside marriage.
A PRIVATE MORAL VIEW THAT SAME-SEX COUPLES ARE INFERIOR TO OPPOSITE-SEX COUPLES IS NOT A PROPER BASIS FOR LEGISLATION
Proponents’ purported rationales are nothing more than post-hoc justifications. While the Equal Protection Clause does not prohibit post-hoc rationales, they must connect to the classification drawn. Here, the purported state interests fit so poorly with Proposition 8 that they are irrational, as explained above. What is left is evidence that Proposition 8 enacts a moral view that there is something “wrong” with same-sex couples.
1:13 AM 8/8/2010
The march and attendant festivities took a lot out of me, and my sleeping schedule went WHEE. Just now recovering.
Today featured a Skype call with some of the fish, where we discovered that my audio setup lets the people on the other end hear maybe one word out of ten. Also, I have the audio qualities of a swarm of bees. LW watchers and players may be very amused by this. The "swarm of bees" effect was, I admit, somewhat enhanced by me occasionally playing the hand-trumpet. Given the opportunity to be silly, I will be very silly. I follow in Dad's shoes, with that.
After that, there was a showing of Ferris Bueller's Day Off in Mission Dolores Park. I showed up, wisely bringing blankets. It was fun! A not-insignificant number of people got up to twist and shout during the parade sequence. One could hear the singing along over the movie soundtrack. It was very spontaneous and fun.