Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

US' Worst

It seems that Antichrist Pizza is having a devil of a time getting himself set up with DSL from Qwest, the local Evil Empire of telephone companies. He asked how I managed to be able to get myself set up with DSL in under two weeks while he has to wait a month at least. To that, I can only answer?

Because I live in Phoenix and he lives in AJ? Because I'm a sweet little female-type person who has a habit of calling the correct phone numbers to get the right things done?

Seriously, though, my sister called the number on their little "get your DSL set up right now" information sheet, and had a holy stinking time getting through ... they told her they couldn't do anything, call back in three days, 'cause we had what they called a "skeleton account" and they needed to call Headquarters and have something done about it.

So she called back in three days. Same song, same dance, slam down phone in disgust and say, "What the devil is a skeleton account?"

So Azz pick up phone and call more numbers, find out much to my satisfaction that phone bill payment was recieved in a very timely fashion and all that jazz -- then call and see wtf a "skeleton account" is.

Turns out "skeleton account" is their little terminology meaning "a phone account with no current charges against it," or, in other words, an account with bill paid in full to date.

(insert some length of yelling and hollering here about US' Worst.)

"Aaaaah," I said to dude on the end of the phone in a tone of sudden enlightenment, refraining from saying, "Oh, I see, they couldn't do it because they were idiots." "We were trying to get set up for DSL, and the people at the number that was given out said they couldn't set us up now because we had a skeleton account."

"Oh, I can get you set up for DSL right now," says guy on other end of phone.

I proceed to be very nice and polite. As I am polite on the telephone for a living, and have a very nice phone voice, this is *very* nice and polite. (I do phone surveys. I will take your number permanently out of the random dialing program permanently if you ask me. Anyone who says they can't is a liar and is obligated by law to do so if you ask. Sue if not.) It helps that dude on the other end of the phone is in fact male and likes having females with sweet voices talk to him and wait patiently while he does his work. There are assholes at phone companies, yes, but the vast majority of people in the world are nice people at heart if treated like nice people. All you've got to do is care. That's as simple as it gets.

So I talk sweetly to him and he says that the packages with modem, filters, et cetera, will arrive by the 27th. I tell him to have a good day. He seems surprised: he doesn't usually get that from people, especially after they've been on hold that long.

So we're getting DSL. This is a must -- we now have four computer users and three computers in the household, and one phone line.

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