Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

DB, emotions

I was, of course, crying my eyes out while working on my database labs after Darkside got his stuff together and left the computer lab, because I had intended to spend all morning working on them, and wasn't about to let a little thing like my best friend being in all probability furious with me interfere with that. I couldn't stop crying, of course, but I did work steadily away on my SQL while the tears dripped out.

When Darkside came back, I cheered up measurably. Need, eventually, to chat with him on the concept of needed space as perceived by introverts and extroverts: to figure out how I need to react when he's upset, and to let him know what would be most efficient at comforting me when I'm upset. It's not like I should expect him to read my mind, after all.

Darkside went to class at ten. I walked with him, still nervous and potentially tearful and quiet. Spent some happy time with him, quietly, and managed to surprise him by cracking a bad joke referencing 80's music. I announced my intention to, rather than hitting the books for the test, to chill out so I'd be in a state of mind where the test would not make me just plain freak. I took a few minutes out for myself, then hit the computer again next to the other guys in the lab preparing for the test, working on the labs again.

I had some trouble with some of the lab questions, and asked for help. Unfortunately, I wasn't in any sort of shape to be listening to anyone who doesn't know me, and at several points, just having them stand next to me and hold forth trying to explain something was enough to make me duck, cover my ears, and struggle not to cry. I felt like I had tissue paper for skin, so the very pressure of their voices was causing me pain.

Eventually I did get to take the test, and was able to find enough queries to write to give me the full hundred points, all, or almost all, of them easy for me to accomplish.

I intend to write the labs I didn't get the chance at anyway, and see how well I do, just for my education rather than a grade.

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